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        </div><article class="page single"><h1 class="single-title animated flipInX">《少有人走的路》</h1><div class="post-meta">
            <div class="post-meta-line"><span class="post-author"><a href="/" title="Author" rel=" author" class="author"><i class="fas fa-user-circle fa-fw"></i>早起的年轻人</a></span></div>
            <div class="post-meta-line"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt fa-fw"></i>&nbsp;<time datetime="2021-06-08">2021-06-08</time>&nbsp;<i class="fas fa-pencil-alt fa-fw"></i>&nbsp;约 1300 字&nbsp;
                <i class="far fa-clock fa-fw"></i>&nbsp;预计阅读 3 分钟&nbsp;</div>
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  <ul>
    <li>
      <ul>
        <li><a href="#1为什么心智成熟很难达到">1.为什么心智成熟很难达到？</a></li>
        <li><a href="#2人们要靠什么来面对痛苦和解决问题呢">2.人们要靠什么来面对痛苦和解决问题呢？</a>
          <ul>
            <li><a href="#自律和爱">自律和爱</a></li>
            <li><a href="#1推迟满足指的是先苦后甜先面对问题并感受痛苦然后解决问题再去享受更大的快乐">1.推迟满足：指的是先苦后甜，先面对问题并感受痛苦，然后解决问题，再去享受更大的快乐。</a></li>
            <li><a href="#2承担责任这是解决问题的基本前提">2.承担责任：这是解决问题的基本前提。</a></li>
            <li><a href="#3忠于事实要求你的人生地图绝不能与现实时间脱节不能被虚假错觉和幻想所蒙蔽">3.忠于事实：要求你的人生地图绝不能与现实时间脱节，不能被虚假、错觉和幻想所蒙蔽。</a></li>
            <li><a href="#4保持平衡要求你为自己的生活确立一个富有弹性的约束机制">4.保持平衡：要求你为自己的生活确立一个富有弹性的约束机制。</a></li>
          </ul>
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      </ul>
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            </div><div class="content" id="content"><blockquote>
<p>因为需要有勇气直面内心的痛苦，所以心智成熟之路是一条少有人走的路。</p>
</blockquote>
<p>《少有人走的路》- 斯科特·派克</p>
<h2 id="1为什么心智成熟很难达到">1.为什么心智成熟很难达到？</h2>
<p>一个人的心智指的是他各项思维能力的总和，他怎么感受和观察这个世界，如何对发生的事情进行理解和评价，又如何进行回应，这些都是心智的表现。</p>
<p>一个心智成熟的成年人应该是独立自主的，能对自己的行为负责，他自信但不傲慢，自重而又有危机意识，他知道反思，能够接受无法改变的事实，等等等。</p>
<p>心智成熟的最大挑战是==直面疼苦，解决问题==，但很少有人做到。</p>
<p>比如，有的人不断拖延时间，指望问题自行消失；有的人对问题假装视而不见，或尽量忘记他们的存在；还有的人用酒精和药物麻痹自己以换得片刻的解脱。</p>
<p>心理学界有个共识：逃避痛苦和问题是人类患上心理疾病的根源。 过分或错误地使用心理防御机制会带来心理疾病，从而阻碍心智的成长。例如，其中一个防御机制叫做退行，它指的是当一个人遭遇挫折又无法面对时，就会放弃成熟的态度和成人的心理模式，让自己退回到不用负责的儿童状态，以此来逃避困难。（例如：疑病症，强迫症） 逃避痛苦和问题会导致心理疾病，更糟糕的是它还会导致我们的心智停止成长，甚至退化。</p>
<h2 id="2人们要靠什么来面对痛苦和解决问题呢">2.人们要靠什么来面对痛苦和解决问题呢？</h2>
<h3 id="自律和爱">自律和爱</h3>
<p>自律是解决人生问题的最主要的工具，</p>
<p>而爱是推动人们自律的原动力。</p>
<p>这本书所说的自律不是我们常说的自我控制，自我管理的能力，作者认为自律是主动要求自己以积极的态度去承受痛苦和解决问题。</p>
<p>它包括四个原则，分别是：</p>
<ol>
<li>推迟满足，</li>
<li>承担责任，</li>
<li>忠于事实，</li>
<li>保持平衡。</li>
</ol>
<p>实践这些原则关键取决于积极主动的态度。</p>
<h3 id="1推迟满足指的是先苦后甜先面对问题并感受痛苦然后解决问题再去享受更大的快乐">1.推迟满足：指的是先苦后甜，先面对问题并感受痛苦，然后解决问题，再去享受更大的快乐。</h3>
<p>推迟满足可以让我们获得足够的自制力和控制感，遇到问题和困难时不再逃避。</p>
<h3 id="2承担责任这是解决问题的基本前提">2.承担责任：这是解决问题的基本前提。</h3>
<p>需要明确的为自己的行为承担起责任，不逃避后果。</p>
<h3 id="3忠于事实要求你的人生地图绝不能与现实时间脱节不能被虚假错觉和幻想所蒙蔽">3.忠于事实：要求你的人生地图绝不能与现实时间脱节，不能被虚假、错觉和幻想所蒙蔽。</h3>
<p>人生地图简单来讲就是你的人生观，价值观与世界观。我们在成长的过程中不停的探索扩大和更新自己对世界的认识，也不停的修正我们的人生地图，但大多数人过了中年就认为自己的人生地图已经完美无缺了，没必要再去更新它，于是他们会把儿时感知世界和应对世界的方式照搬到成年后的环境中，作者把这种现象定义为移情。 勇敢的接受质疑和挑战，不断在与人和观念的碰撞中，修订自己的想法和人生地图，才能避免固步自封，墨守成规。只有敢于面对事实的人，才能够心胸坦荡的生活，心智健康的成长。</p>
<h3 id="4保持平衡要求你为自己的生活确立一个富有弹性的约束机制">4.保持平衡：要求你为自己的生活确立一个富有弹性的约束机制。</h3>
<p>面对生活，我们要有一套灵活的情绪系统（合理适度的使用脾气）。保持平衡有时候还意味着放弃（他与女儿下棋的例子），在人生不同阶段，你需要清晰的知道，当下什么才是你最重要的，而为了它你需要做出哪些调整和放弃。在人生中的每一步，你都需要放弃旧的，接受新的，而放弃的过程其实就是心智成长的过程。 实现自律并不容易，需要我们有巨大的勇气来直面痛苦，在这段少有人走的路上，推动我们艰难前行的动力就是爱，因为只有爱才能让我们有勇气面对痛苦。 什么是真正的爱？怎样拥有爱的能力呢？</p></div><div class="post-footer" id="post-footer">
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                <span>更新于 2021-06-08</span>
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